So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
