remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
