guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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