the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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