You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
