Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This toilet bowl is my home.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
