white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
