Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
third nipple confirmed
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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