how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just threw up on my dentist
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize