he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
