so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
