Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
