you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
