the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
