so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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