Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Blood and glitter go together right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
