It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
