next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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