ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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