I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
