If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
