I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
