...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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