It's Friday. Sex?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
