I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
