I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
