So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Randomize
