So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize