Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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