yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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