Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
