okay pat passed out under dana's car
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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