Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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