Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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