love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
