i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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