Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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