TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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