Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
