so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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