But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
