saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize