his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
