yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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