as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
love makes seman taste better
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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