shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There are leaves in my underwear?
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