worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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