Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She even gives head with a lisp.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
