i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
