i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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