Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
