I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
