Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
