I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Someone came in the potted fern
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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