i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
