I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize