I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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