What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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