Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I enjoy the company of your penis
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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