so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i've created a new STD.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
