This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
