I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
