i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
