Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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