I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
