i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
