My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
